Between the stresses of deadlines to meet, traffic jams, financial obligations etc. it’s easy to forget the importance of taking some time out to enjoy a few chuckles with your special someone every now and then. Here are some Funny Marriage Quotes that give you both a glimpse of the lighter side of marriage.
“Getting married for sex is like buying a 747 for the free peanuts”
“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”
“The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.” -H.V. Prochnow
“I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. First, let her think she’s having her own way. And second, let her have it.” -Lyndon B. Johnson
“A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has.”
-Ralph Waldo Emerson
“My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn’t.” -Unknown
“My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.”
“Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain’t so hot.” -Minnie Pearl
“Behind every great man there is a surprised woman.”
“They say love is blind…and marriage is an institution. Well, I’m not ready for an institution for the blind just yet.” -Mae West
“Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t they’d be married too.” -H.L. Mencken
“A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.”
-Zsa Zsa Gabor
“I haven’t spoken to my wife in years. I didn’t want to interrupt her.” -Rodney Dangerfield
“No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.” -H.L. Mencken
“A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers.” -Grace Hansen
“If nature had arranged that husbands and wives should have children alternatively, there would never be more than three in a family.”
“Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy, fat women.” -Marion Smith
“Why does a woman work ten years to change a man’s habits and then complain that he’s not the man she married?” -Barbra Streisand
“My mother once told me that if a married couple puts a penny in a pot for every time they make love in the first year, and takes a penny out every time after that, they’ll never get all the pennies out of the pot.” -Armistead Maupin
“Marriage has no guarantees. If that’s what you’re looking for, go live with a car battery.” -Erma Bombeck
“I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married.” -Lewis Grizzard
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.” -James Holt McGavran
Make You Smile”
credit to source- www.abundance-and-happiness.com
And I’ll Show You A Healthy Marriage
The loss of a loved one is always a very traumatic experience. However, there are certain arrangements that must be made right away. They will not wait for your grieving period to be over. There is a chance you might be the person responsible for making the arrangements after one of your loved ones passes away. If this is the case, you need to be prepared so that these tasks will not be so overwhelming when that moment finally arrives. Your loved one might have requested to be cremated. Your job will be to find a good cremation company. However, these places can vary greatly in the quality of service they provide. Here are some of the most important things to look for in a cremation company.
1. A polite and respectful staff
It is important for the staff at the cremation company to understand that their customers are still in the grieving process. This is why they must be extra sensitive to the feelings of the people they are dealing with. It takes a special type of person to have a job like this. Not everyone will be suited for it. There will be some people who are a bit abrasive and do not understand the difficult emotional period that people are going through when they have just lost a loved one. Find a place with a staff that understands your pain and will do their best to make this process as painless as possible for you.
2. Competitive pricing
The cremation industry is a big business. There are many companies that provide this service and they want your business. The prices that these companies charge can have a wide range. This is why it is in your best interests to look around and visit as many places as you can. This will be the best way for you to find affordable cremation services in Virginia. See if any of the companies you visit are willing to negotiate their prices.
3. Can you watch the cremation?
For many people, watching the cremation of their loved one is their last chance to say goodbye to a person who was very important to them in their life. This is why having the ability to actually watch the cremation take place is so important to many people. Most companies will allow their customers to watch. However, you should always ask them first if watching the cremation is important to you.
It doesn’t matter how much time you spend cleaning your home every week or the type of products that you use. Mold can and will form on your walls, inside your cabinets and in other damp places. Mold remediation companies can look over your home to find signs of mold and treat that mold to keep it from coming back later. Before calling on one of these companies for help, there are some things you should know about mold and how to identify the signs of a mold problem for yourself.
What Causes Mold?
Mold is essentially a living organism that forms when spores move through the air and land on a surface. Though you might hear horror stories regarding black mold, green and brown mold is just as dangerous. Left untreated, the various types of mold can make you feel nauseous, leave you with flu like symptoms and even cause breathing troubles. As mold can grow both inside your house and on the exterior of your home, it’s important that you know where to look when giving your home a thorough inspection.
Where to Look in Your Home
The two things that mold needs to thrive is darkness and moisture. Any area of your home that is on the darker side and has moisture or humidity in the air is the perfect place for mold to settle and grow. That is why you should always look inside your cabinets and underneath the sinks in both your kitchen and bathroom. You should also consider inspecting your roof. Mold is one of the more common problems that can plague a roof, and excessive amounts of mold may even lift the shingles right off your home and leave your roof exposed to the elements.
Certain types of mold are easily treatable with products like bleach. You can dilute the bleach with water, apply the mixture to the walls with a spray bottle and scrape or scrub off the mold. The problem is that you don’t know if you have a potentially dangerous form of mold. There is a risk that you might not find the underlying cause of the mold either, which means that will come back. Contacting a mold remediation Bethesda is a better solution. Experts can identify the root cause of your mold and treat your entire home.